The Underground Review: Natibaby Through the Looking Glass Again

Wrap: Paxbaby's exclusive Natibaby Through the Looking Glass Again (100% cotton edition)

If you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.

Falling down the rabbit hole happened quickly and without much preparation. The Queen of Hearts must have planned for this, my confusion, with the hemmed rails facing opposite directions! Which way is right? Which way is wrong? Every direction looked oddly beautiful and entrancing as the patterns caught my eye and changed my mind with every pass.

Curiouser and Curiouser!

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense...

The wrap felt thick like the haze of the caterpillar's smoke, enveloping me in this new experience and causing me to forget a world other than this. Millie teetered between giggles and yawns, a Jabberwocky's reprise found in her delightful coos. Relaxing in the embrace of the wrap, she found solace in this new place without a care for the cold reality she had left behind. The grip of this wrap was strong and comforting, allowing for us to stay or possibly demanding that we do. How many minutes, hours, passed as we rocked and swayed and snuggled in this woven world of wonderment?

I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then...

I'm not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it). 

Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

If this is merely a piece of fabric, then I am ever the fool. For as we unwrapped and folded up to save for another time, I grew cold in the mundane reality of the day and longed to wrap us again and travel back into the fog of fondness and forgetfulness. No wonder the rabbit is always late to somewhere. Time stands still there, I am sure of it, and I long to go back so I may cradle my little one in the curious state of love without worry of tomorrow.

Dear Bugaboo, From a Fluffy Mama

(The original post can be fund at The Catholic Mama.)

Dear Bugaboo,

You've been getting a lot of flack lately. Your latest ad of a stick thin model jogging around in a bikini while using your $800 stroller has caused some upset. Moms feel shamed, mocked, and just plain inadequate. I can't say I blame them (have you seen that model's stomach?). 

Bugaboo ad

The truth is though, while your ad may seem absurd, it is meant for a different mother than I. I am the mother of four children under four, living on one income, choosing on a daily basis whether to go to the park or get the kitchen clean. I do not have the money for your stroller--or the personal trainer that I'm sure would have to come with it for me to begin looking like that model. In fact, the only stroller I've ever purchased was $25 at Target. (Do you know what a Target is, I wonder?)

But--I don't judge the mother who CAN buy your stroller. I don't judge the mother that is able and willing to hire a maid, nanny, and personal trainer to make it possible to attain that model's body. I don't fault any mother for having those kinds of funds and using them in a way that promotes self-love, a healthy lifestyle, and (God forbid) a little mommy pampering!

I just know I will never be that mother. I will never look like that. (Though if I did, I would totally go everywhere in that bikini--grocery store, play dates, you name it!) However, I am ok with that truth. I have a word for my stomach, and it's not "tight", "six-pack", or "hard". 

It's "fluffy". 

I don't use that word to equal "fat". I have a beautiful body. I simply recognize that my stomach is softer after having four children; it is a touch wrinkly and resembles tiger stripes. And I have to admit--I love it! I love my body just as much as the mother who buys your stroller loves hers.

My fluffy tummy

Perhaps the mothers who are offended by your ad have not yet learned to love their body. Maybe they are struggling to remember how beautiful they are in a world that believes we should be up and running once the baby hits the bassinet. It can be a difficult transition to go from "sexy single", to "glowing pregnant", to  "your baby is sooooo cute!" (Note that last one forgets the mother all together.) When that transition happens, it is up to us to find our self-love and new understanding of beauty...and sometimes ads like yours feel like an attack on our insecurities. 

I am proud of the mother who jogs. I am just as proud of the mother who eats Oreos at 3am while nursing her 6 month old to a sound track of Netflix movies. (And the truth is, I fully believe I may have just described the same mother in those two sentences--depending on the day!) So, by all means, sell your couture strollers and glorify the fit-focused mother. I'll do my part on this end to glorify the fluffy, not-quite-as-able-to-afford-couture mother. And hopefully we will all begin to realize the beauty we hold in this new role and remember to love ourselves for who we are. 

Sincerely,

A Fluffy Mama

The Underground Review: Risaroo Wovens Tetris Fog

Wrap: Risaroo Wovens Tetris Fog

This should be a blanket, I thought to myself as my hand gently grazed the woven fabric. This is too soft and smooth to be a wrap. I borrowed it anyway, because the gorgeous design and breathtaking fading charcoal to cream left me wondering--hoping?--it could work. (I'm a sucker for dark greys.) 

This is a wrap I'd like to take out for a latte. Not a pumpkin spice, because it is far from basic. It shimmers in its ombré progression of light to dark (or dark to light depending on your mood) and wraps you up like your favorite sweater. It breathes enough for the occasional ray of Sunshine through the cloudy day, and keeps you warm when the storm comes. 

This is not your baby's wrap. It's yours, from contemporary design to throw back name, this wrap is meant to keep you as comfortable as your little one. And boy does it ever. If a wrap could be too smooth, this would be it, not catching or clingy at any point in the experience. Yet it was supportive enough to handle a fancy finish without digging into my shoulders or losing the strong grip on my lil monster of a toddler. She gave it a pair of duck lips and a solid "Rock on!"

So, if you have a chance to try this unique and oh-so-comfortable piece of wrap fashion, do it. And don't forget to to enjoy your cup of coffee as it wraps you and your little one against those cool Autumn days. 

The Cardinal Rules of the BSTs (a.k.a. A History of My BST Mess Ups)

Vocabulary Explanation for this post:
BST = Buy/Sell/Trade
TV/MV = Trade Value/Market Value
FSOT = For Sale or Trade
Stash = Collection of baby carriers
MMAO/MMARO = Make Me An Offer/Make Me A Reasonable Offer
PM = Private Message



A third title to this post could be "My Deeply Apologetic Letter to L.C.", the initials representing the babywearing mama whom I less than tactfully broke one of these rules with when attempting to negotiate a trade once. I did not end up completing the trade, but I did learn a very good lesson. Thankfully, she was kind enough to help me better understand how BSTing works, even after I had been ignorantly disrespectful to her. The only thing that made me feel less guilty was knowing I was not the only newbie on the BST groups to have broken a rule or two. "Babywearers Beware" stories pop up rather regularly, critiquing the tact of buyers or sellers in how they do business. And if you are new to the babywearing community, let me tell you this: it's a small world after all, and you will encounter these babywearing parents again, so choose your interactions wisely.

That being said, if you are new to the world of BSTs, how do you know what is ok and what is not regarding sales and negotiations? Well, that is where this post comes in. This will not cover everything under the sun (and I'm not talking Butterfly Baby Co.), but should give you a strong jumping off point for diving into the BST groups head on! So, read, take notes, and get started on growing that stash!

Read the BST Group Rules

The first thing you should do the moment you join a BST group is read the rules. Every BST group is different, and reading the rules prevents you from pissing off the all-powerful Admin and looking like a dork. Even people who have read the rules once sometimes need a refresher, so don't assume you know it all or that they're all the same. Take the time to do this so your FSOT post isn't deleted before it's read!

Give Full Disclosure When Selling

As a seller, it may be tempting to pretend that tiny coffee stain isn't there, or that you didn't notice the small pull that you're (almost 87%) certain won't affect the safety of the wrap. The thing is though, carriers aren't cheap. Even carriers sold in the budget swap groups are still a pretty penny to the low to middle income family, and they deserve their money's worth. If you know your carrier isn't perfect, say so and explain why. It may not matter to the buyer or it may ruin the sale. But finding out which one beforehand saves you a lot of hassle afterward.

Ask All the Questions Before Buying

Yes, the seller should list all imperfections or concerns in their For Sale posting, but you know what you get for assuming, right? It is up to YOU to make sure YOUR soon-to-be-wrap is everything YOU expect it to be when it arrives. So, ask questions. Request more pictures. In a variety of lighting! Even feel free to get seller's feedback on what they liked or disliked about it. You may not want to create hassle, but remember that this is a big purchase and you want to like what you're paying for.

Be Paypal Ready

In the world of online BSTs, the payment method is pretty standard: Paypal. While this method is not completely fool proof, it does allow for a mostly seamless transaction--as long as you are prepared. Let me put it this way, you wouldn't walk up to the checkout with a cart full of groceries and ask the cashier to hold your items while you go look at your mom's house for your purse. Buying a carrier is no different. It is unfair to the seller and other potential buyers to make an agreement to purchase a carrier, then disappear for hours or days because you need to transfer funds or set up an account. It may result in you being skipped over for a wrap you deeply want or finding yourself the topic of not-so-kind feedback at the end of the day.

Always Use Goods/Services

If you are new to Paypal, then it is easy to think that sending money via Friends or Family (also known as "gifting") is the way to go. After all, no fees equals more money, right? The problem with this mindset is that there is no legal protection if you send or receive money this way. Get your wrap in the mail and find it's more holes than fabric? Send your wrap to a buyer and they suddenly cancel payment? You can submit a claim for any purchase made through Goods and Services! Oh, you sent or received your money through Friends and Family? Oops. Sucks to be you!

Do not question selling price or TV

In the world of BSTs, there will always be the seller that over prices their carrier. Whether they are doing so out of sentimental value, in anticipation for negotiations, or because they simply don't know the value of their wrap, it is important to remember one thing: they get to choose how much value their carrier holds to them. Don't agree with their value choice? Then don't buy it. Interested in buying it but hoping to do so for a slightly lower price? Then phrase your offer this way: "I would love to purchase your wrap but can only afford ______ at this time." or "I am interested in trading your wrap for mine, but am unable to offer more than ____ in paypal at this time." Notice that both of these statements speak to what you are willing to give, instead of stating what you believe you should have to give.

Do Not Post Offers in Comments

Now that you've learned how to make an offer for a carrier, now it's important to know where to make your offer. Just as it is tactless to discuss money in a public social setting (imagine asking someone how much they make in their job at a dinner party), it is also impolite to make an offer or ask if they would take less money in the comments of their post. In fact, many sellers believe it isn't tactful to offer a lower amount unless specifically stated "MMAO" or "MMARO". But if you are very seriously interested and wish to make an offer you can afford, the best way to do this is to write PM in the comments, and send them a private message with your offer of purchase or trade for them to review,

Do Not Low-Ball the Seller

While making an offer in private is more tactful than doing so in public, there is a point when a low offer is too low. Low-Balling the seller is generally considered to be when you make an offer of less than $50 of the stated price or 25% less than priced (for low-budget or high-end priced carriers). While making an offer may be acceptable or encouraged, it is important to recognize that low-balling sends an entirely different message. If you don't believe a wrap is worth the price, don't insult the seller by low-balling. Simply look for a different wrap. The truth is, a low-ball offer tends to say more about the buyer than the seller.

Always Check Feedback Before BSTing

Since the world of BSTs takes place on the oh-so-magical interwebz, chances are you will be doing business with complete strangers. While most of these strangers are your everyday, fellow babywearing enthusiasts, it is important to remember that there may or may not be a bad apple out there trying to take advantage of your naivety. Because of this possibility, it is integral that you check the feedback link of anyone you are considering BSTing with. What is a feedback link? It is a link to an album for people who has done business with a person to leave feedback regarding how that business went! This makes it easier for you to determine if you want to take the risk of BSTing with a specific person. What if a person does not yet have any feedback, you ask? At that point you must decide if you want to do business with someone who is new to the BSTs. The truth is, we all started out with no feedback, and you yourself may not have any yet. But this is another reason why it's good to use Goods and Services. It's simply safer that way.

Always Buy Insurance When You Ship

Whether shipping overnight or standard five-day postal service, it is outright crazy not to spend a few dollars it takes to make sure you'd get your money back if a shipment is lost. The truth is that packages get lost more often than we'd care to admit, and if you only use the $50 insurance that comes with a flat-rate envelope, you may find yourself out $150 if they lose your $200 wrap! Believe me, it's worth the $2-5 worth of insurance to not hold your breath until your wrap makes it from Malibu to Omaha!

Leave Feedback

So you bought or sold your carrier, had a lovely ol' time, and are ready to move on with life, yes? No! It is courteous to always leave feedback on the person's feedback link so others can have an accurate idea of what BSTing with that person was like. In the same manner, it is important to send your feedback link to the person you did business with so they can leave feedback on yours! Don't be afraid to remind them if they don't get to it right away. Feedback help builds your street cred on the BSTs, so it's worth following up on!


If you are already following these rules, then props to you for being awesome! I learned some of these the hard way, and others by reading the stories of fellow babywearers. Hopefully, this list will help you navigate the BSTs like a BOSS from now on!

The Underground Review: Pavo "XOXO"

Wrap: Unreleased Pavo "XOXO" (unofficial name)

At first glance, XOXO looks made of silk and the thin, smooth thread seems more painted than woven like brush strokes into letters of love. The dark charcoal color makes this wrap the perfect wear for daytime or night, from jeans and a t-shirt to a formal wedding. It is the wrapper's version  of the "the little black dress". This, my friends, is your perfect Little Black Wrap.

I must admit that I've had an affection for this wrap long before getting the chance to try it out, but from imagination to reality, this wrap was no disappointment. Since the mavens had greeted me at the door with champagne, my wrap job was just a tinsy bit clumsy. Lucky for me, this wrap could make any carry look good. It felt airy and light enough to be 100% cotton, but the way it made me feel like a million bucks caused me to wonder if it had blended some silk in there somewhere. I am a sucker for a beautiful "wrong" side, and took this opportunity to do a FRTR with a Poppins Finish to be able to show off its stunning reverse as well. It glided into place smoothly, and I can only imagine how supportive this wrap would be in a back carry. If Millie's gummy smile and refusal to let go was any indication of a good wrap, then I believe Pavo has a winner!

Rumor has it that this wrap will be released in the same manner as K&K, in 2016. The heart of K&K reminded us of National Heart Month, and Pavo dedicated proceeds to The Children's Heart Foundation. So, it is difficult not to notice the heart hidden in one of the XOXOs and wonder if its design was specifically to represent this cause dear to Pavo's heart for 2016. This is all speculation, mind you, but I would make sure to be ready for a stocking this February.

Hayden Panettiere, Postpartum Depression, and Me

I have a pair of pajama pants that sit in my drawer unused. They are missing the draw string, and their very presence scares me to death, but I will not throw them away.

No one ever told me Postpartum Depression could get that bad. And by "that bad" I mean so bad that your doctor tells your husband you may need to be admitted and your husband is sent home with your children to pack a bag in case you don't come home. So bad that he is told "no drawstrings allowed" and has to choose a pair of pajamas to cut the strings out of so you can have them in case your worst nightmare comes true. I didn't end up being admitted. I came home to find the scissors and string on the counter, and looked at him with all the apologies in the world for what he must have gone through inside having to face this darkness alongside me.

Hayden Panettiere, star of hit television series Nashville, was reported yesterday as voluntarily seeking treatment for her Postpartum Depression, according to People magazine. I have long respected her willingness to discuss her illness on national television, to give a voice to so many parents who feel lost and alone in the darkness of PPD. However, her choice to admit herself for treatment and counseling goes far beyond being an advocate and jumps straight into getting real about how serious PPD really is.

She couldn't handle the darkness on her own. Neither could I. While I ended up coming home that night, her courageous choice to stay leaves me in awe and admiration of her. Seeking help, contrary to societal stigma, is not a sign of weakness but of incredible strength. To choose your health, your family, and life over saving face (especially as a celebrity) deserves a hug and an applause. I wish I could write her a letter, tell her how brave she is and how much support she has, admit my own story as a reminder that she is not alone.

Though I may not be able to write to her, I can write to you. If you have struggled or are currently struggling with maternal mental illnesses, you are not alone. You are not weak. You are not less of a mother. Your illness is not your fate, it is simply an obstacle in your journey. A very real obstacle that requires a daily fight, the ability to ask for help (both medically and personally), and support from loved ones. But it is an obstacle that will go away with help. And your choice to to choose your health, your family, and life makes you one incredibly strong person. One worthy of a hug and applause. Whether you seek help as an outpatient or inpatient, seeking help is never the wrong choice. Know that there is someone here, behind the screen, rooting for you and fighting beside you.

We can beat this. We are worth the fight.

The Underground Review: Girasol Pixie Herringbone

Wrap: ColorfulBABY's exclusive Girasol Pixie Herringbone, Rosa Fuchsia Weft

This wrap is like the dress on clearance because no one likes how it looks on the hanger. The flat shots do it a disservice. I let it sit for weeks, because the moment it arrived I decided it wasn't for me. Oh, how wrong a girl can be when they choose not to try on the dress!

It was due to my beautiful toddler's request for a piggy wrap ride that I finally took it out and washed it. Even taking it out of the dryer, it already looked...different. As I began to wrap my daughter, the buttery softness eased her into a snuggly state. The strength of the wrap held her close, even as my mediocre back carry skills left the wrap somewhat loose in the rails and bunchy around her legs. The beautiful morning sun was offering a soft gleam on the grass, and my daughter and I took to the outdoors for photos and twirls. It was only after the first photo that I saw it: the beauty of this rainbow.

Just like the dress on the clearance rack, this wrap shines in a new light when it is worn. Where the flat shot creates an all too girly pink overriding the colorful rainbow, the action shots showcase its bright, joyful collection of colors without the overly stark contrast of a white weft. Every photo we took offered a fun and unique array of zig zagged lines in myriad hues. The knot shot may be my favorite one of all time. My daughter summed it up best in a simple, content smile and a sincere, "Pretty!" as she cuddled against my back.

If you are looking for a rainbow to wrap up your little one that favors the bright pretty colors and fun, confetti-like zig zags of the herringbone weave, this is the wrap for you. Don't let this deal on the BSTs pass you by...because the clearance tag may be offputting, but it wears beautifully!