The Underground Review: Bijou Wear Roxy Alexandrite By Night

Wrap: Bijou Wear Roxy Alexandrite By Night (Alex), exclusive for Koala Bear Square
Size: 6
Wrappee: 10 months old

There are some wraps you buy for aesthetics, wraps you may not love for their wrapping qualities but need to own for their looks. Then there are some wraps that are blanket soft, like your favorite old sweatshirt, whose looks you could care less about because it feels so comfortable. Rarest of all is the wrap that somehow encompasses the best of both worlds: comfort and design, looks and feel. Roxy Alexandrite By Night is that wrap.

Roxy Alexandrite, or Alex for short, is a deep plum hue with black diamond accents. Many women find themselves looking for a wrap that works for any occasion, and Alex does not disappoint. The design is modern and gorgeous, adding an exciting look to a t-shirt and jeans or jazzing up your little black dress for an evening out. Whether you plans for the weekend include a wedding, hike, or shopping the boutiques, Alex shines in a contemporary style.

However, its eye-catching appeal still does not compare to its unbelievably comfortable feel. My first time wrapping with Alex was on a cold rainy day, one of those days you don't even want to change out of your flannel pj's or leave the house. In fact, I didn't even wait to get dressed before wrapping my little one close in the softness of this wrap. While many people speak of various wraps as being blanket or sweatshirt soft, the truth is that kind of true comfort is difficult to find in the wrap world. So, believe me when I say I found a wrap that snuggles you and your baby whether you're babywearing out and about or snuggling together on the couch.

You'll find this wrap to be very supportive with a good amount of cush. There is not a lot of texture with this design, which lends to a nice glide when you wrap. There is no horizontal or vertical stretch, but there's just enough diagonal stretch to make sure this wrap hugs you and your baby nicely in a carry. It's a thinner wrap but not too airy, and it's not so dense that you'll feel heavy when you wear.

One thing to note: this wrap came to me well washed and worn. I immediately noticed a light layer of fuzziness, almost pilling. After talking to both Koala Bear Square and Bijou Wear, it has been stated that although this is a cotton and tencel wrap, it is best to hang dry this beauty if you wish to avoid that fuzzy look. It in no way affects the safety of the wrap, but is the best way to help your wrap stay in excellent condition.

The Underground Review: Sweet Pea Doll Sling

Wrap: Sweet Pea Ring Slings Doll Ring Sling

Wrappee: Little Baby Hope Doll

I wasn't sure how my daughters would react to wearing their own baby dolls, but I figured it wouldn't hurt for them to have a carrier of their own. I will admit now that having only one available for them to try was a mistake. Their excitement over getting to "wear like mommy" was overwhelming, and bickering quickly ensued over who would get to try it first.

This doll ring sling from Sweet Pea Ring Slings as absolutely beautiful. The fabric is soft against my little ones' skin, the colors are precious and perfect for my sweet daughters, and the quality is top notch. Just because it is made for dolls does not mean it is created with any less care or consideration.  I should also add that while we received a ring sling made from a more feminine fabric, Sweet Pea makes doll ring slings with a variety of fabrics to suit your son or daughter's tastes. I was very impressed with this wonderfully designed and well-made doll carrier. This is obviously a play item made to last throughout one's childhood.

All of my daughters took a turn with this lovely ring sling. We only had a very petite doll for this wearing session, but this sling could easily accommodate a doll or teddy bear of most sizes and provide a comfortable carry. Notable quotes from our doll-wearing session included the following:

"Wow, it's so pretty!"
"Mama, look I'm wearing like you!"
"Awww...baby sweeping now."

My girls were able to tighten and loosen the ring sling on their own without difficulty. Front carries and hip carries, with baby doll's arms in or out were not a problem for my 4 year old, 2.5 year old, or 22 month old. My most enthusiastic babywearing daughter requested to do a back carry, and this mama was easily able to adjust the ring sling to fit my daughter's desired carry with ease.

If you are looking for beautiful, budget-friendly babywearing play items for your children, let me be the first to recommend Sweet Pea Ring Slings for your purchase. Inexpensive in price but high quality in its creation, this ring sling will be a treasured item for years to come in your home.

5 Things Toddlers do that Lead to a Better Life

As a mother of four, I have experienced a lot of those unbelievably funny, gross, frustrating and overwhelming moments in life. I've had those days when I wonder what I was thinking. But I have begun to realize that my children have a LOT to teach me. The thing is, since having children my life has been filled with more joy, laughter, and love than ever before. (Don't worry, this is NOT a post about how people with kids have fuller lives than those who don't.) It just got me thinking, how has acting more like my children changed my life for the better? Well, here are five of the things that have changed my life--and maybe they could do the same for you!

1) Laugh when they fall down. This is one of my daughters' favorite games. Yes, I said game. They fall down, laugh hysterically, and get back up again--only to fall down in laughter! This is the complete opposite of an adult's normal reaction to a fall. We adults tend to react to our trips and stumbles with tears and self-loathing and maybe even a ton of binging on wine and chocolate (not that I would know anything about it).  Yet as a parent, I have found that the bigger of a deal I make a fall, the harder my daughters will take it. If I laugh it off, so do they! And you know what? Most falls in life really aren't as bad as we adults make them out to be. Laughing more and self-loathing less....the affect is instant and priceless!

2)  Announce when they poop. Oh, I don't mean calmly  and privately letting me know so I can assist them with wiping. I mean running into the living room, undies in hands, and screaming with pride, "I made a big poopy!" Oh yes. This happens. And why not? We all poop. And to be honest, I can't tell you the number of times I've had a particularly wonderful #2 experience and felt weird wishing I had someone to tell. The truth is, we have been taught to feel shame for a bodily function we ALL experience. By letting go of shame over a ridiculously normal act, we can learn to let go of shame for other things too...think periods, farts, snorting laughs, love of Lady Gaga--whatever happens to be on your blushing list.

3) Applaud everything! And I do mean everything. Every song, every twirl, every pouring of a cup of tea or pretending to be a horse. They applaud themselves. They applaud me. It may be something I have done a million times, but to them it is a task I should be proud of--even if it is loading the dishwasher or mooing like a cow. So why don't we adults applaud ourselves--and each other--more? Could you imagine the change in your attitude if you received cheers every time you turned in a report or folded a load of laundry? What if we said a (sincere, excited, high energy) thank you and congratulations every time someone we love did something positive?  How quickly would we change the course of our lives, and the lives of those around us?

4) Cheer and give hugs every time they see me. This is may favorite part of every day. I open the front door, peek around the corner, and witness the pure joy of my daughters running to greet me, screaming "Mama!" with arms wide open.  I know there will come a day when this does not happen. Every time it does, I hug them tightly and promise God not to forget this feeling ever. Yet, when we see those we love, we often take for granted their presence. We may see them everyday. We may have known they were on their way. Yet, I have known far too many people who had plans to see someone...that never arrived. Let's not take our loved ones for granted. Let's exclaim how much we missed them, how incredible they are, how much they mean to us. Don't leave any words unspoken or hugs left in empty arms.

5)  Say no. Ok, so I admit that this one is not often something I enjoy my daughters doing. When they don't want to, when they don't like it, when they think it's not fair or ok, the no's start coming out loud and clear! And while this isn't always the best thing for me (believe me, nap time was a struggle today), I have learned how easy--and important--it is to say no. How often do you say no to something you don't want to do? How often do you say no to something that feels wrong or not for you? Society teaches us to be agreeable, pleasing to others, appropriate in situations. Does that mean we should disregard our own feelings for everyone else's? Maybe it's time for us to admit when we need to say no, and stand up for our needs by stepping away when we need to.

There you go! Just five things my daughters have taught me to make my life a better one. I hope my sharing their little toddler wisdom can help you make your life a little better also.

The Underground Review: Natibaby Through the Looking Glass Again

Wrap: Paxbaby's exclusive Natibaby Through the Looking Glass Again (100% cotton edition)

If you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.

Falling down the rabbit hole happened quickly and without much preparation. The Queen of Hearts must have planned for this, my confusion, with the hemmed rails facing opposite directions! Which way is right? Which way is wrong? Every direction looked oddly beautiful and entrancing as the patterns caught my eye and changed my mind with every pass.

Curiouser and Curiouser!

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense...

The wrap felt thick like the haze of the caterpillar's smoke, enveloping me in this new experience and causing me to forget a world other than this. Millie teetered between giggles and yawns, a Jabberwocky's reprise found in her delightful coos. Relaxing in the embrace of the wrap, she found solace in this new place without a care for the cold reality she had left behind. The grip of this wrap was strong and comforting, allowing for us to stay or possibly demanding that we do. How many minutes, hours, passed as we rocked and swayed and snuggled in this woven world of wonderment?

I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then...

I'm not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it). 

Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

If this is merely a piece of fabric, then I am ever the fool. For as we unwrapped and folded up to save for another time, I grew cold in the mundane reality of the day and longed to wrap us again and travel back into the fog of fondness and forgetfulness. No wonder the rabbit is always late to somewhere. Time stands still there, I am sure of it, and I long to go back so I may cradle my little one in the curious state of love without worry of tomorrow.

The Cardinal Rules of the BSTs (a.k.a. A History of My BST Mess Ups)

Vocabulary Explanation for this post:
BST = Buy/Sell/Trade
TV/MV = Trade Value/Market Value
FSOT = For Sale or Trade
Stash = Collection of baby carriers
MMAO/MMARO = Make Me An Offer/Make Me A Reasonable Offer
PM = Private Message



A third title to this post could be "My Deeply Apologetic Letter to L.C.", the initials representing the babywearing mama whom I less than tactfully broke one of these rules with when attempting to negotiate a trade once. I did not end up completing the trade, but I did learn a very good lesson. Thankfully, she was kind enough to help me better understand how BSTing works, even after I had been ignorantly disrespectful to her. The only thing that made me feel less guilty was knowing I was not the only newbie on the BST groups to have broken a rule or two. "Babywearers Beware" stories pop up rather regularly, critiquing the tact of buyers or sellers in how they do business. And if you are new to the babywearing community, let me tell you this: it's a small world after all, and you will encounter these babywearing parents again, so choose your interactions wisely.

That being said, if you are new to the world of BSTs, how do you know what is ok and what is not regarding sales and negotiations? Well, that is where this post comes in. This will not cover everything under the sun (and I'm not talking Butterfly Baby Co.), but should give you a strong jumping off point for diving into the BST groups head on! So, read, take notes, and get started on growing that stash!

Read the BST Group Rules

The first thing you should do the moment you join a BST group is read the rules. Every BST group is different, and reading the rules prevents you from pissing off the all-powerful Admin and looking like a dork. Even people who have read the rules once sometimes need a refresher, so don't assume you know it all or that they're all the same. Take the time to do this so your FSOT post isn't deleted before it's read!

Give Full Disclosure When Selling

As a seller, it may be tempting to pretend that tiny coffee stain isn't there, or that you didn't notice the small pull that you're (almost 87%) certain won't affect the safety of the wrap. The thing is though, carriers aren't cheap. Even carriers sold in the budget swap groups are still a pretty penny to the low to middle income family, and they deserve their money's worth. If you know your carrier isn't perfect, say so and explain why. It may not matter to the buyer or it may ruin the sale. But finding out which one beforehand saves you a lot of hassle afterward.

Ask All the Questions Before Buying

Yes, the seller should list all imperfections or concerns in their For Sale posting, but you know what you get for assuming, right? It is up to YOU to make sure YOUR soon-to-be-wrap is everything YOU expect it to be when it arrives. So, ask questions. Request more pictures. In a variety of lighting! Even feel free to get seller's feedback on what they liked or disliked about it. You may not want to create hassle, but remember that this is a big purchase and you want to like what you're paying for.

Be Paypal Ready

In the world of online BSTs, the payment method is pretty standard: Paypal. While this method is not completely fool proof, it does allow for a mostly seamless transaction--as long as you are prepared. Let me put it this way, you wouldn't walk up to the checkout with a cart full of groceries and ask the cashier to hold your items while you go look at your mom's house for your purse. Buying a carrier is no different. It is unfair to the seller and other potential buyers to make an agreement to purchase a carrier, then disappear for hours or days because you need to transfer funds or set up an account. It may result in you being skipped over for a wrap you deeply want or finding yourself the topic of not-so-kind feedback at the end of the day.

Always Use Goods/Services

If you are new to Paypal, then it is easy to think that sending money via Friends or Family (also known as "gifting") is the way to go. After all, no fees equals more money, right? The problem with this mindset is that there is no legal protection if you send or receive money this way. Get your wrap in the mail and find it's more holes than fabric? Send your wrap to a buyer and they suddenly cancel payment? You can submit a claim for any purchase made through Goods and Services! Oh, you sent or received your money through Friends and Family? Oops. Sucks to be you!

Do not question selling price or TV

In the world of BSTs, there will always be the seller that over prices their carrier. Whether they are doing so out of sentimental value, in anticipation for negotiations, or because they simply don't know the value of their wrap, it is important to remember one thing: they get to choose how much value their carrier holds to them. Don't agree with their value choice? Then don't buy it. Interested in buying it but hoping to do so for a slightly lower price? Then phrase your offer this way: "I would love to purchase your wrap but can only afford ______ at this time." or "I am interested in trading your wrap for mine, but am unable to offer more than ____ in paypal at this time." Notice that both of these statements speak to what you are willing to give, instead of stating what you believe you should have to give.

Do Not Post Offers in Comments

Now that you've learned how to make an offer for a carrier, now it's important to know where to make your offer. Just as it is tactless to discuss money in a public social setting (imagine asking someone how much they make in their job at a dinner party), it is also impolite to make an offer or ask if they would take less money in the comments of their post. In fact, many sellers believe it isn't tactful to offer a lower amount unless specifically stated "MMAO" or "MMARO". But if you are very seriously interested and wish to make an offer you can afford, the best way to do this is to write PM in the comments, and send them a private message with your offer of purchase or trade for them to review,

Do Not Low-Ball the Seller

While making an offer in private is more tactful than doing so in public, there is a point when a low offer is too low. Low-Balling the seller is generally considered to be when you make an offer of less than $50 of the stated price or 25% less than priced (for low-budget or high-end priced carriers). While making an offer may be acceptable or encouraged, it is important to recognize that low-balling sends an entirely different message. If you don't believe a wrap is worth the price, don't insult the seller by low-balling. Simply look for a different wrap. The truth is, a low-ball offer tends to say more about the buyer than the seller.

Always Check Feedback Before BSTing

Since the world of BSTs takes place on the oh-so-magical interwebz, chances are you will be doing business with complete strangers. While most of these strangers are your everyday, fellow babywearing enthusiasts, it is important to remember that there may or may not be a bad apple out there trying to take advantage of your naivety. Because of this possibility, it is integral that you check the feedback link of anyone you are considering BSTing with. What is a feedback link? It is a link to an album for people who has done business with a person to leave feedback regarding how that business went! This makes it easier for you to determine if you want to take the risk of BSTing with a specific person. What if a person does not yet have any feedback, you ask? At that point you must decide if you want to do business with someone who is new to the BSTs. The truth is, we all started out with no feedback, and you yourself may not have any yet. But this is another reason why it's good to use Goods and Services. It's simply safer that way.

Always Buy Insurance When You Ship

Whether shipping overnight or standard five-day postal service, it is outright crazy not to spend a few dollars it takes to make sure you'd get your money back if a shipment is lost. The truth is that packages get lost more often than we'd care to admit, and if you only use the $50 insurance that comes with a flat-rate envelope, you may find yourself out $150 if they lose your $200 wrap! Believe me, it's worth the $2-5 worth of insurance to not hold your breath until your wrap makes it from Malibu to Omaha!

Leave Feedback

So you bought or sold your carrier, had a lovely ol' time, and are ready to move on with life, yes? No! It is courteous to always leave feedback on the person's feedback link so others can have an accurate idea of what BSTing with that person was like. In the same manner, it is important to send your feedback link to the person you did business with so they can leave feedback on yours! Don't be afraid to remind them if they don't get to it right away. Feedback help builds your street cred on the BSTs, so it's worth following up on!


If you are already following these rules, then props to you for being awesome! I learned some of these the hard way, and others by reading the stories of fellow babywearers. Hopefully, this list will help you navigate the BSTs like a BOSS from now on!

5 Things I'll Trade for Your Wrap

Obviously, I do not have the money to support my babywearing obsession. After all, I'm seeking funds from strangers out of the kindness of their babywearing hearts (feel free to leave a tip above!). So, I started thinking, what would I be willing to trade for a wrap? Here are my top five things I'd be willing to trade...

Don't let this poor baby lay on the floor!
Make a trade today and give this little one the wrap of her dreams!

1) Breastmilk

They say breastmilk is liquid gold, right? If that is really the case, then I've got funds to cover my next ten wraps right here in my freezer! As a selling point, breastmilk is not only edible (for babies or adults, in a bottle or even a cake!), but it has been known to cure pink eye, ear infections, and annoying husbands (just squirt a little in his face the next time he says, "do you really need another carrier?").

2) Baby socks

No, I don't know any of their sizes. No, not a single one will come with its match. But hey, just tell your friends the baby dressed itself, and they'll find those randomly paired socks endearing!

3) Wine bottles

Bottles, bottles everywhere, but not an ounce to drink! Oh, you expected them to be full, you say? I have four daughters, four and under. I actually take my wine via IV now. But for the low cost of one beautiful wrap, you can have a box full of elegant wine bottles that represent the empty space in my mind that was once filled with my sanity.

4) Size 6 jeans

These lovely, barely used jeans are perfect for any person who has not recently had a baby. Have I lost all my baby weight from the last four pregnancies? Why yes! (It was a breastfeeding miracle!) Yet somehow the stretched out flab of belly skin prevents me from fitting into my old jeans without creating the least appetizing muffin top you've ever seen. So by all means, take me up on this wonderful offer, and I will continue to stuff my flab into my maternity pants even though the only baby growing in this belly is made of Oreos!

5) My baby

What? Like you've never considered trading your baby for the wrap you would be carrying her in! Mine is a beautiful little three month old with a full head of hair, she already coos and giggles, and she even sleeps (mostly) through the night! What will I wrap without said baby, you ask? Well, I have plenty of stuffed animals, a dog...but mostly I just want to cover my bed in my stash and roll around in luscious rainbows while my husband is at work!

So, please feel free to let me know if you have a wrap worthy of any of these amazing trades, and we'll talk. 😉